I have been toying with this post for a few days now and when the power went out today during Sandy, I had lots of time to really get my thoughts in order and write it. Thursday was my weekly date with the scale. If you’ve noticed, I haven’t posted much in this department. Why? Well, dear reader, the results haven’t been so great lately. I gained back quite a bit since my surgery back in August. By quite a bit I mean almost 10 lbs. In the grand scheme of my personal weight loss journey, that’s a drop in the bucket. But considering how hard I have to work for every single ounce, I was slightly devastated. It was slow coming back on. I am slowly backtracking. Not good.
This week, I had a very good loss, a loss I needed to have. Down 2.2! That’s amazing. Movement in the right direction. A loss to keep me moving forward and not giving up. Why, then, was I not thrilled?
There are so many things that I allow to get in my path. Emotions, stress, conversations, and all the small things in life get some kind of weird power over me and I let them. It’s as simple as that. I. Let. Them. Part of it is because I have somehow worked it into my brain that when I talk about my emotions with anyone, I’m burdening them. When I eat my emotions, I’m not burdening anyone. Well, correction, I’m only putting the burden back on myself. It’s quite ridiculous. I have said it before but for some reason I cannot seem to make my brain accept it.
Over the past two weeks, there have been quite a few stress inducing incidents: news, doctors, tests, storms. Normal people don’t eat through these things…or maybe they do but then they know how to stop or how to counteract it.
This past Wednesday, I had my final appointment with the surgeon. It was nice to finally be discharged from gall bladder issues but it was with some interesting advice. My surgeon said that my goal over the winter months was to “not lose any weight but not gain any weight.” I asked him to repeat it. He did and then added that over the winter I should just maintain and then in the spring really go at my weight loss. I was a little surprised at what he said. Considering the amount I still have to work on getting to my end goal, it was a first to have a doctor not tell me to keep working hard. I don’t know that I’m going to follow that advice 100% to be honest. In my life, as far back as I can remember, I have never had a doctor tell me to not worry about losing weight for any period of time. It was a bit of a shock. My other two doctors are encouraging me to continue losing, though, because it will help fix some of my other issues, namely the PCOS. I’m going to stick with two out of three doctors. Plus, I really want to buy some new clothes. I’m really tired of what’s in my closet right now!
Tomorrow is a new day. A new chance to start fresh and a take today as my own.