Last week, I was bad. I skipped my Weight Watchers meeting. I wasn’t proud of it, I just couldn’t handle a gain. This week I knew I had to be back OP ( which means on program as the WW people say) so that I could get rid of that gain and then some. I was careful, aside from my choking episode. I tracked for the most part. I still was a little lazy about tracking. Need to fix that. I made healthier, whole food choices.
I went to my weigh in tonight and was nervous. I usually peek at the scale on Tuesday night just to see where I’m at. I didn’t do that this past Tuesday because I was having the fish bone removed from my throat. Yesterday, I didn’t peek either because I was just too nervous. So, tonight, I made myself get in the car and drove to my weigh in. I was ready to accept whatever that scale had to say. I knew whatever it was, it was not going to define me. It was just one more week, one more number.
I lost 1 whole pound from my last weigh in. That means I lost last week’s gain plus one pound! Yay!
So, what lesson can we take away from this?
Skipping weigh in didn’t really do anything. It was silly really because I didn’t know how much I had gained. It was also silly because it was like I let that stupid metal square dictate how I was going to feel. Why does that metal square have that power? Why do I let it have that power? I know that I’m not perfect. I know (now) that I have to forgive myself more easily. I know that I’m making changes. So why does that number that comes from stepping on that little metal thing make me feel like crap if the number isn’t what I want it to be?
I think the answer is that I want results. I want to know that I’m getting that much closer to my goals. I just need to remember that the number that I see each week is just ONE indication of my progress. There are other things I can look at if I need confirmation that I’m making progress. I can look at the fact that when I go out to eat, I look for the chicken and the fish. I ask for modifications to my plates (no butter, no mayo, steamed veggies). I move more.
Why do I rely on that scale to be the main source of my progress? Is it because once you get to the number you’re supposed to be at, it’s more acceptable? Or is it just that the number I’m currently at is a sad number? Whatever it is, I need to let that number just be a number. I need to look at other measures and put a little Pollyanna spin on this whole journey.
The week resets tomorrow. The plan is to just keep tracking, just keep moving, and just keep thinking ahead. I’m going to use the one foot in front of the other kind of thinking to get through each day. That should close that 1.8 lb gap between me and that 50 lb charm that I keep playing with. I will have it in my possession very soon!