Tag Archives: healthy lifestyle

Points Life Forever

After apparently five weeks of being MIA at my local Weight Watchers meeting, I returned tonight.  Sadly, I didn’t plan accordingly and forgot that it was the beginning of the year and the first meeting at our meeting place that wasn’t snowed out since the new year.  That meant that the line was insanely long, full of fresh faces.  They all shared the same look – that look of fear as the line slowly inched forward to the grey metal square. They watched as the seasoned veterans disrobed down to the lightest layer of clothing, ritualistically preparing their weight tracker for the kind receptionist who greats those she knows by name.  Shoes come off and the line moves forward in an array of colorful socks, each pair taking a 2 inch step up at their final destination.

ww-logo1I may have shared that look today.  Even though I have been there for a long time, having been away for a month was nerve-wracking.  Add to the fact that the month I was MIA was the month of December, also known as the month full of Christmas parties, Christmas cookies, and lots of Holiday cheer.  (You can read that as I completely threw my Points tracker out the window and ate what I wanted, when I wanted.)

I knew that the scale was going to show a gain.  I hadn’t been doing anything to promote the ideals and values that a good Weight Watcher should show.  I wasn’t saying the Weight Watcher pledge.  I got a little down on myself instead.  Alright, fine.  I beat the living daylights of out myself over it.  Positive self-talk has never been a strong point for me and those who know me would claim that I’m a perfectionist and that I don’t allow myself to make mistakes. Then, when I make those mistakes, I just spiral around the crazy-go-round with them.  It’s not always pretty.  That’s why I knew I had to face the music and really get it done. Knock on wood that I don’t need any major medical things this year.

The worst thing is that I had one of those moments when the song you hear just hits you with a 2×4 across the face and you realize that it’s now your theme song.  The daughter has been on a Disney Frozen kick (along with almost every other girl from 4 years old and up) and that means I have probably heard “Let It Go” about fifty million times now.  There’s a few lines in the song that summed up my inner voice, the one that I sometimes don’t listen to when I should probably listen to that voice all the time.

frozen

“It’s time to see what I can do / To test the limits and break through / No right, no wrong, no rules for me, / I’m free! / Let it go”

I need to let it go and see what I can do.  It always looks good on paper.  I just need to figure out exactly how to do that.  Let it go.  I need to let my mistakes go.  Let go of my not so perfect days. Let go of perfection.  Someone once told me that perfection was boring anyway.  Just let it go.  Maybe someday I might fully and truly understand what those words mean.

No matter how I slice it, I have to let go of the fact that my body cannot process food the same as other people’s.  I need to let go of the fact that I will always, no matter what age, have to pay attention to what I’m eating.  I will always count points, even if I do not write them down.  Through December, I was counting points mentally.  I knew how many points I was over every day because I was keeping count.  I can rattle of points values of foods like Rain Man can rattle off a tv schedule. I’m going to just accept that.  Maybe that will help letting go of some of the other stuff a little easier.

Tomorrow is week one, for the sixth time officially.  I’m letting go of the other times.  Tomorrow is Friday. It’s a day.  It’s one day.  It’s one day in which I’m going to count my points.  It’s one day where I will make good choices and if I slip, I will forgive and move on.  It’s one day.  It’s one meal.  It’s letting go of all the other stuff and living in just the moment.  Let go of the what ifs.  Let go of the woulda, coulda, shouldas.  Let go of the maybes.  Just deal with the moment.  Let it go, let it all go but that one moment.

Let it go.

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Filed under My Relationship with Food, Weight Loss

The Last Week of 2012

The world did not end.

Some say that the Mayans just ran out of room.  Some say that the Doctor saved us as he seems to every Christmas.  Whatever it was, we’re all still here.

The Doctor does always seem to find something trying to take over the world at Christmas...

The Doctor does always seem to find something trying to take over the world at Christmas…

The new year is closing in fast.  The news and magazines and Pinterest, and any other thing you look at is going to talk about the best of 2012, tell us all it’s time to make our resolutions, tell us that it’s time to plan Easter.  I did get a present from the Easter Bunny – a small packet of Cadbury candy eggs.  They are on sale at Stop and Shop you know, and were out on Christmas Eve ready for sale!

I try not to gripe too much but this year, I really can’t help but notice how rushed we all were into our holidays.  I love flipping through Pinterest but I feel like the pressure to start getting into the next holiday is always pushed on me there first.  Then it’s the tv commercials.  Black Friday started the week before Thanksgiving this year and Thanksgiving itself was quite a blur.  Does that mean tonight we’ll start seeing commercials about Easter chocolates?  Valentines?

At any rate, I should quit my griping because Christmas was good.  We are all pretty sick with whatever this sinus thing is but the day was good nonetheless.  I am in Christmas withdrawal though.  It was so wonderful to watch The Daughter wake up and discover what Santa had left for her.  Then the non-sick family went on to Rhode Island while the sick group stayed home and kind of crashed.  When the non-sick family came home from Rhode Island, we did do our annual Peppermint Pig tradition where we say something we wish for the coming year.  I did not make a serious wish because by the time it got to me, we had all been laughing too hard but I do feel like I should have some kind of plan of attack for the new year.   So, my list is as follows:

1) Do the #26Acts in memory of the Newtown.  Before Christmas, money was a little tight so now that the holidays are over, I think the Daughter and I can do some kindness for others in the coming days.  I also think it’s important to carry this one throughout the year.  They should not just be one month or one week of kindness, they should be done every day.  When I finish my dedicated #26Acts, I may do them again and again…

2) Finish the book I started in November.  I am so close to finishing it.  I just kind of put it on hold for December so I could focus on shopping and wrapping and family events.  I need to finish it.  I need to edit it.  I need to draft a query letter.  I need to do it so I don’t live a life of “what ifs.”

3) I need to get back on track with the weight loss.  I’m tired of not looking good in holiday pictures.  I’m tired of not having the clothing I want to have because they don’t make it affordable for fat people to dress fashionably.  I’m tired of being fat.  Thanks Brother #3 for the heart rate monitor…should help me with this goal.  My goal for 2013 is to lose at least another 50 lbs.  I’m shooting low so that I don’t disappoint myself but this coming Thursday will count as my start weight since it’s the last weigh in of 2012.  If I go above that 50 lb goal, then yay me! Just getting back on track will be amazing.

scale

4) I need to be better about communicating with friends and family that I don’t see enough.  I tend to withdraw this time of year.  Maybe it’s the lack of sunlight and warm days.  Maybe it’s the holiday doldrums.  Maybe I’m just weird.  But I am going to commit to my friends and family to be better about phone calls and actual in person visits as opposed to liking photos on Facebook and instant messenger.  Maybe it means more traveling or adventures.  That’s kind of what I’m hoping this one turns into!

So.  I’m going to start with those four.  I think that they are good to start with.  I am thinking that as the week moves on and I get closer to another year, I will probably try to make a longer list of more things I want to accomplish this year.  I like lists.  They help me see that I actually have accomplished something.

What are you goals for 2013?

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Filed under Healthy Me - Yay!, Random Thoughts