There are times when I realize that my self-induced state of procrastination is the cause of my anxiety when it comes to completing projects. In 2014, I really am trying to approach life with less anxiety. I have seen some people say that they are choosing a word to visualize and focus on for the year. Normally, I would view this as some kind of new age mumbo-jumbo that may or may not work. However, this year, I’m trying to cast aside my cynicism and open my mind to something new because clearly, my cynicism isn’t exactly working out so well for me.
My word is:
Whatever “happy” means, that’s what I’m aiming for. There are lots of meanings for happy and how it applies to life. I could just have a happy day. I could have a happy accident. I could just try to find happiness in every situation. Happy.
Where does that leave my procrastination? Where does that leave my last minute pressure of making something perfect in a less than perfect amount of time?
I think that it leaves my procrastination being tossed out the window. I used to tell myself that I only worked best under pressure. Working at the front desk of a busy Cape Cod hotel, I was constantly under some kind of pressure during the summer months, coincidentally my favorite months of work. There were complaints, room moves, last minute tours…all things that required me think fast, perform quickly, and get nothing wrong. The pressure pushed me to perform at my personal best. At least that’s what I thought.
If I’m trying to focus on Happy, doesn’t that mean I should be trying to eliminate stress that I can control? My brain says “Duh, stress is ridiculous!”; my heart says “But, I like the pressure. It’s a big thrill to see how well I can do in the eleventh hour.” Well, my heart might not really like the pressure because the pressure can sometimes cause high blood pressure which could ultimately kill me. If I’m dead, then any goals I may have planned are pretty much null and void. It’s just that I have become used to that kind of pressure. I have convinced myself that it’s the only way that I can get things done.
Silly as it may seem, I must get over that mentality. I have to take one step at a time. Plan a little, not excessively, to complete goals and not leave them to the last minute and expect to have the results that I really want. So while I may feel I work best under some kind of pressure, I have to accept that it does not make me happy. Since happy is my word this year, I have to try to obtain that word and stay focused. Procrastination – I’m sorry, you are no longer welcome to the party known as my life.
This post is part of the January 2014 NaBloPoMo. This month’s theme is “Pressure.” Today’s prompt was “Do you work well under pressure?”