It’s scary. It’s something that literally terrifies me to the point where I make myself sick.
To think that I can live my life without taking risks, though, is ridiculous. I cannot shut myself in a bubble and pretend that things will happen if I just think about them happening. Besides, bubbles probably get really hot in the summer and I don’t even know how I would begin to introduce air conditioning to a bubble.
Why does risk terrify me? It’s probably because when you take a risk, you risk failure. Failure is the real terrifying thing. As a kid, failure was not acceptable. I was a perfectionist because I was afraid of what would happen if I wasn’t. I wanted to be loved and as a child, you do anything to be loved. It’s funny how early these fears can creep in and warp your senses.
I know failure, risk, and love are not really connected but that worry is still something that must be quieted in a lot of the things I do. Work, raising the Daughter, my marriage – all of them risk failure on massive levels. It’s believing in myself and knowing that I am capable that has allowed me look past that fear of failure and keep taking risks.
Taking risks is necessary to life. It’s not life if you don’t take risks. And isn’t a life well lived the greatest reward of all? I’d have to say yes.
This post is part of the March NaBloPoMo. The theme this month is Risk. Today’s prompt was “Do you believe the saying that with great risks come great rewards?” Do you agree? Do great risks yield great rewards?