Energy is something I pretend I don’t have. Why do I pretend I don’t have it? I am not totally sure but that is why I am recommitting (for the millionth time) to my lifestyle change. I just need to find the energy.
As a kid, I remember having a lot of energy. I would stay outside all day and into the night, riding my bike everywhere, running around, playing. I could wake up easily at 6 am without the help of an alarm. I never thought about where my energy came from, it was just there. Just oozing from every bit of me was that childhood energy that I now watch the Daughter enjoy.
Now, I find that I am more productive between the hours of 9pm and midnight. But my productivity during that time is not physical, it’s more mental work, writing, and planning the next day, and of course playing my games. It doesn’t require the energy that I feel I am now missing in my life.
The solution is simple on paper, a little harder in practice. I know that if I get moving more again, I will have the energy to get moving more. I know that once I get moving, I will want to keep moving. The energy from moving will keep my mind moving. Will give me new avenues to explore. It’s hard to not have the energy I want to have. It’s hard to make the time for the steps that I need to regain my energy. I simply have to choose my hard.
So on this first day of 2013, I’m making a promise to myself to have more energy. More energy to play with the Daughter. More energy to have fun adventures with the Family. More energy to be me, the real me. I’m nervous and excited all at once, but I am going to hold on to that memory of riding my bike and swimming and just living life to get me through the hard parts.
This year is going to be a grand adventure!